Lazy Days
by thinkaman22
Summary: Modern AU. A collection of drabbles about Jill's and Haar living in the insane world of life. Reviews are appreciated!
1. Fatherly Concern

"Please, dad?"

Shiharam risked looking at Jill's face. Bad move. Her eyes were pleading the argument all on their own, and didn't need the help of her words. The argument in question was the lodgings she would stay in for college. They didn't have enough money for her to stay at her college, and it was out of state. (Un?)thankfully, Haar lived hardly a block away from her college, and offered to let her stay at his place. Now, it's not like Shiharam didn't trust Haar, he was his right hand man for a reason, but recently it seemed Jill had a crush on the lazy man. Now, there were a hell of a lot worse men Jill could have picked, but he didn't like the idea of the two of them staying with each other.

It was at this point that Shiharam realized he was thinking VERY hypothetically. This was IF Jill tried to make a move on Haar, IF he said yes, and IF so many other things happened. Also, deep down he thought the idea of the two of them together settling. Haar was someone he knew, and he knew he'd treat her right. Also, having these thoughts with Jill breathing down his neck wasn't making it any easier.

Finally, he gave in, "Fine."

"YES!"

"But", he started, "You must call me once a week."

"WHY?"

"Because Haar won't be awake enough to, quite literally, keep an eye on you."

"Dad, you don't trust me?"

"No."

The nonchalant manner in which he said that pissed her off, but she knew he had a point. Still, once a week wasn't as bad as once a day or something.

"Fine… I'm going to start packing."

She trudged off, her ponytail hung down in anger.(Which was almost as weird as seeing it droop with sadness, another thing Jill somehow managed to do.)

Shiharam considered what he was doing. He was basically putting his daughter into a grown man's home. Shiharam was no fool; he knew what thoughts lied in teenage girl's heads.

"But," he thought to himself, "Jill won't be that daring."

Little did he know that he was dead wrong.


	2. Highway to Hell

The drive to Haar's apartment was… very interesting. Shiharam was busy that day, so Jill's mother was driving her to Haar's… and plaguing Jill with countless orders and questions.

"Remember to call your father every week."

"Yes, mom."

"Remember to brush you teeth twice a day."

"Yes mother."

Her mother sighed, "I know you know these things, but can you at least SOUND thankful that I'm telling you these things?"

Jill smirked, "Of course dear mother, I simply adore your drills about the proper amount of toothpaste I need."

Jill's mother shot her a look of mock hurt, "Why, Jill! You simply must know that you need precisely two centimeters and three millimeters of toothpaste!"

Jill rolled her eyes, "I'm sure."

The two shared a laughed, and then her mother asked, "So, you looking forward to staying at Haar's?"

Haar… Jill started to think about him for a minute. His short, brown hair… his well-chiseled muscles, the way he would say her name… "Jill…Jill…JILL!"

Her mother snapped her out of her doze, "Yeah, mom?"

Her mother seemed to notice how much of a fantasy Jill just had, "Oh, my… you want him don't you?"

Had Jill been drinking anything at that moment, it probably would have been lost, "WHAT?!"

Her mother smirked, "Oh, I was a teenage girl once too, believe it or not. I know what thoughts lie in your head."

Instead of waiting for Jill to speak, she took her reddening checks as a response instead, "And because I want my daughter to be completely safe, I snuck some birth control pills in your bag when your father wasn't looking."

Again, all her mother did was let Jill's face, which was now a deeper red than her hair, do the all the talking, "Oh, don't be so embarrassed. I remember my first time. It was with your father, actually. Oh, I remember how he-"

As if on cue, AC-DC's "Highway to Hell" came on the radio. It didn't stop until they finally reached Haar's house.


	3. Clean House

"Bye, mom!"

Jill's mother left her at Haar's house, leaving the issue of getting settled in to Jill and Haar. Thankfully, Jill's mother's story about her first time was lost to a story about the quality of jeans, due to a button getting stuck on her first time. Jill was thankful for her mother's short attention span, though she still knew more about her parent's sex life than she ever wanted.

Haar walked her into his house. It was a two story house in an urban area, like you see in every generic Disney sitcom. She had expected his house to be filthy, but it was surprisingly clean. He offered her some lemonade, so they were drinking before dealing with unpacking. Haar tired to make a conversation, but her previous conversation with her mother left her a little… out of it.

Haar seemed to notice, "Are you okay, Jill?"

"Oh my god, he's worried about me!" Jill thought to herself. She quickly snapped out of it. The only thing she hated about Haar was how she acted around him. Was it normal for her usual energetic self to turn into a fan girl-like basket case?

"Jill?"

Haar brought her back to life, "Um… yeah, I'm fine. Just had an… interesting conversation with my mother."

Haar lifted his eyebrow, "About what?"

Jill gulped, "Her first time having sex."

Haar kindly stopped himself from bursting out laughing, despite the fact he was doing so in his head. Haar looked his usual stone faced self, but the tone of his voice gave him away, "Wow. Want me to pick up the brain bleach? I hear it really makes you forget things."

Jill decided to play along, "Didn't the FDA pull that for health issues?"

"So a few dozen people lost their minds entirely. Who doesn't love a little risk?"

Jill started laughing, and Haar joined in as well. Unfortunately, Jill lost her grip on her lemonade, causing the glass to shatter, leaving a huge mess.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry!"

"Don't worry about it, things happen. Get me a towel from the closet, would ya?"

"Sure." She went towards the closet, but all of a sudden Haar yelled out:

"Wait! Never mind! Don't-"

But it was too late. All kinds of junk fell on top of Jill, causing her to fall to the floor.

She looked at Haar with a smug grin, "Haar?"

Though his face held its usual look, his tone and refusal to make eye contact showed how he was really feeling, "Yes?"

"You didn't, say, oh, I don't know, make like a little kid and clean your house by stuffing everything in your closet, did you?"

"…N…No…."

She glared at him.

"Yes…"

Their laughter could be heard all across the street.


	4. The Morning Blues

It was a blissful morning. The birds were singing, the sunrise painted a beautiful background, and Jill was panicking like it was the end of the world. Why? Because she woke up at six o clock, and her classes started at seven thirty. Now she tried to go back to sleep, but we all know how that works. Toss, turn, you're up. No happy dreams for you. What was this happy dream she was having about? Let's just say it was a fantasy her father would disown her for, and one her mother would be proud of. Also the word lotion. You guys put two and two together.. She quickly grabbed her clothes and ran into the shower, cursing just about everything she could think possible to curse: God, life, the planet earth, everything was damned that morning. This freshman year was off to a great start, wasn't it? A beautiful dream of sweet passion ruined by the beep of her alarm.

She walked into the kitchen, still a little dazed from her dream, only to find Haar there, smiling and drinking a cup of coffee. Her heart melted a bit when he spoke, "Someone's up early."

She sounded a lot happier to wake up. than she actually was, "Six o' clock isn't THAT early."

He looked at the clock, "What are you talking about? It's five thirty."

She sat down, giving him a confused look, "That clock says SIX thirty."

Haar's demeanor changed. His eye refused to make contact with her, and developed a sudden interest in his boots. He started fidgeting about, and his voice was higher than Jill thought possible, "Jill?"

"Yes?"

"You know that saying for daylights saving time, 'Fall back, spring forward', right?"

Her eyes held an icy glare, ironic considering that they were bright red, "Is this going where I think it's going?"

"If you're thinking that I was too lazy to turn all the clocks in my house forward one hour and thus every clock is an hour slow, than, yes, this is going where you think it's going."

She looked at him. Her ponytail hung down viciously low, and, as we all know, that means anger. Pure, unadulterated, unrated, anger.

Haar, realizing the sin of impeding a young woman's, or ANYONE'S, sleep schedule, he quickly tried to rectify his error, "Look at the bright side. In a month or two, the clocks will be all right!"

But it was too late.

* * *

"Mr. Fizzart?"

"Yes, Vaida?"

"Haar's here."

"That's odd. Haar's early today. Send him in."

Shiharam did a double take when he saw him, "Jesus, Christ! What happened to your eye?"

"It's been gone for years, sir."

"No, the other one! It's all red!"

"You must be imaging things, sir."

"Bullshit! Is that…. Red mark in the shape of a hand?"

"Shut up."

* * *

Author's note: Well, next chapter will be her in college. Question: Who should her friends be? I'm putting in Ike, Soren, Ilyana, and Mist. I want one more. Any suggestions?

Until next time…

See ya, space cowboy.


	5. Answers

Author's note:

"You know, a lot of fan fiction has the author talking to some character at the start… so I've decided to talk to my favorite character from Awakening… Tharja!"

"Thank you! Gregor is happy to be here!"

"What? Gregor? What are you doing here?"

"Tharja is not suited for romantic comedy. Gregor provides much more laughs and smiles, no?"

"Fine…. On with the chapter!"

* * *

Jill had to admit, her day was going significantly better than it started. She was done for her morning classes, and she was sitting at the school cafeteria with her four best friends- Ilyana, Ike, Mist, and Soren. Ike was currently going over his long-term plans.

"So alright guys, I need you to tell me how my plan for my junior year sounds."

Soren cut him off, "Ike, you're going to tell us regardless of whether or not we care, aren't you?"

"Yup."

"Just checking."

"So, I'm going to become the MVP in one sport every season. Football for fall, but I need you guys to tell me what I should do for winter, than spring."

Soren cleared his throat, "You used the wrong form of then. You want thEn, not thAn. Than is for comparing, then is for time."

Ike stared at Soren, wide-eyed, "Did you just correct my spelling… in my SPEECH?"

Soren remained deadpan, "Yes."

Ike's mouth was ajar, "HOW DO YOU EVEN?"

Everyone sighed. Soren and Ike's bickering was hilarious, but you'd think Ike would accept the excuse 'Don't question it, it's Soren' after high school. Oh well. Jill looked over to her female friends, only to find them grinning wildly.

Though she had a feeling she knew what they were about to say, she asked anyway,

"What?"

Mist's tone was like a giddy school girl, "You know what."

Jill gulped, "What?"

Ilyana spoke up, "You. Haar. Same house. Ring a bell?"

Ike stopped his bickering, "Whoa, shit! You and Haar live in the same house?! Do tell, girlfriend!"

Everyone stopped and stared at Ike, Soren included. His little sister spoke up, "Bro, are you gay? None of us will hold it against you."

"Well you see, the answer to that is-"

*We interrupt this Fanfiction to bring you Haar and Shiharam!*

Being a security guard seemed like a natural fit for Haar. One eye, large frame, scars… he was a natural at scaring people shitless. However, there were these kind of days where he had nothing to do because Shiharam had nothing to do.

Haar tried to start a conversation, "So, boss. You and your wife enjoying the empty nest."

Shiharam smirked, "Yes, but that's beside the point. Haar, I have a serious question. I've been talking with my wife, and… Haar, how do you feel about my daughter."

"Your mighty punch easily translated to her mighty slap."

"No, not that," though he was proud that his daughter inherited his power, "I mean as a woman."

Haar stuttered, "W…What?"

"Answer me honestly."

"Well, you see, the answer to that is-"

* * *

"Gregor thinks we should end it there."

"What? Why?"

"Silly Steven. You cannot have the feelings of both characters known! Unknown feelings are the basis of romantic comedy."

"Whatever. Anything else?"

"Give Gregor more beautiful women to make children with!"

"What? I already supported you with Nowi and Miriel. What else do you want?"

"You have that third save file."

"Sigh… Whatever. Until next time…"

See ya, space cowboy.


	6. Moments

Author's note:

"Gregor would like to thank all who reviewed!"

"And I would like to get on with the chapter!"

"What? But Gregor-"

"ONWARD!"

* * *

"Haar, I'm home!"

Thanks to Ike's beautiful distraction, Jill managed to avoid prosecution from Mist and Ilyana. She put her things in her room, and gave her room a quick look over. It was a guest room, and it didn't have much in terms of personal belongings, but it was still well furnished. She glanced over at her mother's gracious gift of birth control pills. She was thankful that she managed to avoid showing those to Haar. She couldn't begin to imagine how THAT conversation would have went. _Hey, Haar. My mom gave me these incase I decided to bang you. What fun! _Yeah, that would be just swell. She found Haar in his study, talking someone on the phone.

"I'll call you later. That girl that lives in my house and eats my food is home. No, the other kind. Not mine; it's a long story. See ya, Cherche. Yes, I really am hanging up with that. Yes. NO. Fine, later. Bye."

He hung up and looked over to Jill, "How was your first day?"

She sighed and sat on the table, "Boring. Say, why do you keep all these books? The only time I ever see you with them is when you're sleeping, and you use them as a mask."

He smiled, "Not a mask. A face protector. You never know when a fly will see your open mouth and think he's found a new home. And hey, I read. Just when no one is ever around to see it."

Jill smirked, "So how do I know you're telling the truth and not just lying to look smart?"

"You're just gonna have to trust me."

She sighed. Little moments like this were enjoyable, but she still felt as if she wanted more.

Haar's tone turned happy, "Say, how do you feel about taking a trip with me this weekend?"

Jill's face lit up, "Where to?"

"My friend Cherche is moving, and she wanted my help."

Jill started to frown, "S…She?"

Haar's tone and face remained deadpan, "Yeah. Whats wrong? Can't have a female friend without everyone saying we're dating?"

Oh, a friend. That's all. Jill tried to recover, "No, that's not it. I just didn't hear you."

"Sure, sure. You willing to wake up early on a Saturday?"

"How early?"

"About five o'clock. Considering this morning, I-"

Jill's face and ponytail indicator cut him off, "I mean, um, have fun!"

He quickly excused himself from the room, leaving Jill, who wasn't even that mad, laughing in his wake.

* * *

"Boy, that was fun. Anways, before Gregor can cut me off, New chapters will be posted two weeks from now. So, please review in the mean time! Also-"

"Gregor think that you should make a spin off starring Gregor called 'Gregor Days'"

"Sigh… I'll think about it."

Until next time….

Se ya, space cowboy.


	7. TGIF

Author's note: "Sorry, but the comedic banter with Gregor will be post-poned for me to give a heartfelt message: thank you to all who have reviewed. Seriously, to know people like what I write means everything to me. Thank You.

* * *

"Where are you going?"

Haar was about as dressed up as he got. His hair was combed back, he wore a black leather jacket, and black jeans.

"Out with friends. You can survive without burning the house down, right?"

"Probably not."

"Ah, well. I didn't really like this place anyway."

Haar walked out the door, leaving Jill alone. She sat around, not really knowing what to do, at least until she heard someone knock at the door with the strength of Ike when he was terrified of Soren.

"Who is it?" She asked, as if her life were on the line. Which, judging by how strong the knock was, could be true.

"Jill it's me, Ike. Let me in, don't ask any questions!" His tone held a mix between fear and smugness, like when he pisses off- oh, dear.

"I have one question."

"Sigh… yes, it's Soren related"

"Come on in, and tell me what's going on."

* * *

"Thank GOD it's Friday"

Haar smirked, "Amen, Valter."

Haar was sitting at his local pub, the Raging Wyvern, with his long-time friends- Valter, Glen, Minerva, Cherche, and Gale. The six have been friends since childhood, and have met at the pub together every Friday for the past five years.

"So, who's paying?"

Valter mocked agony, "Shit, Gale, why'd you have to sour the mood so quickly?"

Minerva clenched her teeth, "Because he doesn't want a repeat of last week."

Valter tensed up, "Damn… guilty."

Cherche laughed, "You SHOULD feel guilty. Who leaves the check for the woman."

Glen chimed in, "The same man who tries to get my brother to let us drink for free every week."

Valter smiled, "Speaking of, YO CORMAG!"

The barkeep came over, "What?"

"Can we-"

"Valter, you've asked that question every Friday since I opened this bar five years ago."

"And?"

"What have I told you every time?"

"I seem to recall, 'mooch off someone else, ya damn creep' being a popular response."

"Exactly. Mooch off someone else, ya damn creep."

Laughter was had by all, except Valter, who mocked pain, "Why do you guys always pick on me? I have feelings, you know"

Haar smirked, "Yeah, you have plenty feelings. Crazy, sick, perverted, just plain wrong… I can go all night."

Laughter was had by all, except Valter, "Yeah, you guys just don't like me because I have the balls to say what no of you guys do."

Minerva laughed, "Like what?"

"Like the fact that you have a REALLY nice rack."

Silence. Complete silence.

Minerva stood up, "So who wants to help me beat his ass?"

Glen jumped up, "I always did love a good bar fight."

* * *

And that's why Haar decided to come home early that night. While he enjoyed watching a good fight, he didn't want to see it live.

"Besides," Haar thought, "They always forget Valter's a professional boxer. And then they wonder how he always kicks their asses."

Though he had to fight a pissed off Minerva, which was tough by any standard. Nevertheless, Haar was looking forward to getting home, and taking- what else- a nap.

Instead, he walked into his house to find Jill and Ike, all covered in what appeared to be… pastry filling.

Jill panicked, "Haar-"

"One question."

Ike and Jill gulped, "Yes?"

"Was it Soren related?"

"Yes…"

"Alright. Going to bed. Clean this up. I don't care how long Ike stays, so long as he doesn't spend the night."

Haar left a confused Ike and Jill behind him.

Jill spoke first, "That was weird…"

"Nah, not really. I've come here to hide before."

Jill was about to say something, but decided against it. The real question was where Soren got that hose that shot icing from, or better yet, how Ike caused Soren's kitchen to explode.

But that's a story for another time.


	8. CAAATTT

Author's note: "Alright! Last update of the weekend!"

"This will make Gregor weep like small child without candy."

"Umm… why?""Because that means no Gregor for two weeks!"

"Sigh… on with the damn story."

* * *

There were a lot of things Haar liked. Sleeping, eating, and getting paid were among the best in his book. However, he held a secret affection for cats. He wouldn't dare let anyone know this, least Valter and Jill mock him for eternity. However, when he saw an orange stray outside his house, he couldn't resist.

"Hey, girl. Want some milk?"

"Meow…"

"Come on in."

While most people would think Haar's an idiot for letting a stray into his house, you forget Haar doesn't give a damn about most things- he's freakin' Haar! So, Haar pet a stray cat, not knowing what it could possibly have, and fed it more than just milk. He dangled a piece of meat just out of the cat's reach, as if it were one of those rope-like toys. Haar found this adorable, at least until Jill walked into the room to see him eating a slice of beef jerky with the cat eating the other end.

"What the hell are you doing?" Jill's look was a cross between confusion, amusement, a D'awww…(Yes, D'awww is an emotion. Look it up.)

"Um… nothing." Haar said, still eating the jerky."

Jill leaned against the wall, looking at the pair. It was freaking hilarious, and Jill couldn't hold back anymore. She started laughing so hard she fell to the floor. The cat used this opportunity to come up and lick Jill's face. Jill looked at Haar, who replied with a grunt,

"We're keeping her now, aren't we?"

Jill's face was deadpan, "Damn right we are. We're keeping- wait, how do you know it's a she?"

Haar smirked, "I'm glad you asked that question. You see, I used an ancient technique handed-"

"Cut the theatrics."

Haar sighed, but still smirked, "I saw the pussy's pussy"

She dug her face into her legs, "You had too, didn't ya'? You just had to."

"Yup. Anyways, she needs a name."

Jill's head shot up immediately, and her reply was said not as a suggestion, but as a statement of fact, "Her name is Lethe."

Haar was taken back, "That was sudden. Why Lethe?"

"Well, I used an ancient technique handed-"

"Cut the theatrics."

"I've wanted a cat since I was 10. I've had a while to think about it."

Haar clenched his teeth. Shiharam never did like cats. Well, Jill wanted one, so damn it, he'd give her one. Though he didn't quite understand why he wanted to please her so much…

_She's the woman of the house. I just want her to be happy so I'm happy._

* * *

Author's note: "Yeah, you keep telling yourself that, Haar."

"Gregor like where this is going! Next time should be happy fun with Cherche moving party, no?"

"Yup. So until next time…"

See ya, space cowboy.


	9. Bonus Hijinks

Author's note: "Thanks to an impromptu trip to my mother's, I decided to write a bonus chapter!"

"What you mean 'Bonus Chpater'? Gregor confused."

"This chapter was originally going to be them at Cherche's, but since my mother needed me, I get to be at the computer! So one bonus chapter!"

* * *

It was early Sunday morning. Jill, surprise, forgot to turn on her alarm clock. And by 'forgot', I mean Haar unplugged it. Why? Jill was causing him to look like a child. The closet, Lethe, all that. So he decided to get back at her. How? Well, let me explain the set up. Jill's room. Huge amp. Soundproof walls as to not annoy neighbors. Metallica. You should get the picture.

Haar grinned mischievously, "Wakey-wakey…"

He turned on the music, only to be greeted with silence. Confused, he looked for the cause. Maybe the amp got unplugged? He checked the power socket, only-

"BOOO!"

Harr let out a squeal that would make someone think that he was auditioning for slutty girl in horror movie number 1. Jill was laughing, leaving Haar confused (And somewhat terrified).

"Jill, how the hell did you do that?"

She smiled, "It was easy. I saw this coming when you were dragging up the amp from the basement. So I went downstairs and turned off the power box for my room, and set my alarm for my phone instead."

Haar clenched his teeth, "Well done, young padawan. It seems there is little I need to teach you in the ways of pranking…"

Jill smirked, "I think you're the padawan here, Haar."

Lethe meowed her approval. "Stay out of this, cat. And you-" he pointed to Jill, "Breakfast time."

So they went down stairs to enjoy the lovely rushed- morning meal of cereal and were ready to leave. However, Haar did not let Jill one-up him scott-free…

*30 minutes later*

Jill was fast asleep in the passenger side. Big mistake. Haar (Quietly) got out his CD collection at a red light.

"Hmmm… what to use, what to use… Metallica? Nah, that failed… Iron Maiden? No… Ah! This is perfect!"

Open tray. Put in AC-DC. Max volume. Push button. Highway to Hell plays. Jill jumps up. Head hits ceiling. Jill gets mad. SLAP!…..

Totally worth it.

* * *

Author's note: "Until next time..."

See ya, space cowboy.


	10. Eye of the Tiger

Author's note: "All right! Time for the next chapter!"

"…"

"Huh? Gregor?"

"…"

"Weird… he's not here… Kinda miss him… Anyways, on with the show!"

* * *

Jill and Haar arrived at about seven in the morning, one ready to work and the other scanning the premise for the most beneficial napping spots. Cherche came out, dressed in a T-shirt and jeans, clearly ready for some heavy lifting,

"Great! You're here! Thankfully, all my stuff's in boxes already. All you guys have to do is help me move them."

Jill nodded, her energy shooting up, "Right!"

Cherche gave her a bemused look, "So, you're Haar's new girl-"

The look she got from Haar screamed 'are you really making that joke?'. The short answer? Yes. Yes she was. The long answer?

"Haar's new girlfriend?"

Jill's face lit up, "Wh-no, I- I mean- there's-maybe-"

Haar yawned, "Jill, go get something from inside."

Jill shot up, "Y-yes!" then shot off, running towards the house. Cherche and Haar were about to follow her, but Cherche remembered, "Oh! Did you tell Jill about Minerva?"

Haar stood straight up, "Awwwww fuuuuuu-"

* * *

_Stupid, stupid, STUPID! That was not the way you handle a situation like that! God, now he probably thinks I'm some-_

"Grrrr…"

Jill froze. That grr sounded otherworldly, and she slowly turned around, only to be greeted by a tiger. Yes, that's right. A stripped, ferocious, breathing tiger was in the hallway. Jill didn't even scream. Fear pulsed through her veins, but she remained calm. Thankfully, the giggles from behind her clued her in. She turned around again, only to see Cherche and Haar standing, laughing together. Cherche called out,

"Here, Minerva."

The tiger ran right past Jill, and pounced Cherche. Haar smirked,

"Sorry bout that. Just thought you should know: Cherche has a HARMLESS pet tiger named after a friend of ours, Minerva."

Jill was still scared, "How is that legal?"

"You know that show Castle?"

"The one about the author that helps the cops?"

"Yeah. You know how he can only do that because of his friendship with the mayor? Well, it's the same case."

Jill stared at the tiger, "Wow…."

Haar muttered under his breath, "Yeah, amazing what sleeping with someone does to them."

Cherche shot up, "What was that?"

"I said, 'amazing what coffee does to you'! I'm ready to lift tons of boxes!"

Cherche rolled her eyes, "Sure, you did… Minerva? Is he telling the truth?"

Needless to say, Jill wasn't the only one afraid of the tiger anymore.

* * *

Author's note: "Well, that was a fun-"

"Sorry Gregor late. What happened?"

"Oh, there you are. Where were you?"

"You started a new file in Awakening. I was busy defending little Nowi."

"Oh, yeah. So…. Until next time…"

See ya, space cowboy.


	11. Fans

"You know, Jill, he lasted longer than I thought."

Jill sighed, "Yeah, Cherche. He was really good while he lasted…"

Cherche smiled, "Ah, well. I guess some men just don't have the stamina to stay with us…"

The two shared a laugh. They were referring to Haar, who finally sat down to take a nap. He had been working for two hours, two more than Cherche and Jill thought.

Cherche motioned towards the kitchen, "Jill, you want some lemonade?"

Jill shrugged, "Sure."

Then two sat down in the kitchen, taking a break for a little while. Jill was petting Minerva, who was actually kinda cute once the whole 'holy shit, a f***ing tiger' effect wore off. Cherche's face lit up,

"Minerva likes you. She usually has to take a method to like people."

Jill continued petting her, "Really? What method?"

Her tone was full of admiration, "She usually pounces someone, and claws them half to death. It's quite adorable."

Jill stopped petting Minerva, "Wow… um… your sense of cuteness is…"

Cherche sighed, "Bizarre? Yeah, I know. I was always an oddball. But in my group of friends, with people like Haar, I fit in just fine. Speaking of…" Cherche's cheeks started to flush, "Does Haar ever… talk about me?"

Jill tilted her head, "What do you mean?"

"Does he ever, you know… say anything about me? Like, 'That's as cute as Cherche when she's grooming Minerva' or 'Cherche's such a charmer', or…"

The look she got from Jill caused her face to redden, "Oh, shoot. I was to obvious, wasn't I?"

Jill rolled her eyes, "No, you were only about as obvious as a train going through a city of mimes while blaring saxophones in the middle of an explosion."

Cherche chuckled, "My, how… oddly specific."

Jill smiled, "So… you like Haar?"

Cherche sighed, "Yeah… you do to, right?"

Now Jill sighed, "Yeah… He's just so… Handsome."

Cherche smiled, "Enjoyable…"

The two then exchanged various Haar-related thoughts. To save my self the writing, every quote has the following characteristics: Eyes lit up, admiration in their tone, twirling their hair, and blushing. Now, let's begin:

"Smart…"

"Entertaining…"

"Strong…"

"Caring…"

"Sexy…"

"Daring…"

"Skilled…"

"Been standing here the whole time…"

"Adorable…"

"Not really, I mean I'm pretty scary. You know, with the whole 'one eye thing…"

"Funny…"

"Yup. I'm the funniest guy I know."

"Yeah, he's- wait…"

The two girls looked around, FINALLY noticing Haar. Both gulped, and Cherche said,

"Yeah, Johnny Depp is such a hunk, right?"

Jill quickly nodded, "Y-Yeah! Johnny Depp! Right!"

Haar sighed, "Sure. That's definitely who you were talking about."

Haar walked off, and sat down to return to his nap. Or that's what it looked like. He actually lied down, and started thinking. Thinking about which woman he was going to pursue. Unfortunately, the answer did not come immediately. So he did fall asleep.

Author's note: "GASP! Another love interest! Egads!"

"Gregor would like to point out that you just said 'egads'. No one says Egads."

"Sigh… yeah, yeah. Until next time…"

See ya, space cowboy.


	12. Easy Filler

"Oy! It been a month since last update! What the hell happened?"

"I've been working on other things... But I'm back to this! And I'm ready for more!"

* * *

"You sure this will work?"

"Trust me. I've know Haar for years. He's a complete dumbass when he's tired."

"But if he knows it was real..."

"For Christ's sake, Jill. You're panicking like a schoolgirl."

"I am a schoolgirl!"

"Noted. Just calm down, and stick with the plan."

"But-"

Jill and Cherche's bickering was cut off by a massive yawn, and then Haar rose from his spot on the couch. He looked at the two, his one eye practically closed.

"What?"

Cherche gulped, "You were asleep while we were working. Now isn't the man supposed to help the women?"

Haar smirked, "By that logic, shouldn't you be in the kitchen making me my sandwich?"

Jill sighed, "And shouldn't you be helping, not sleeping? I know they sound similar, but they are two completely different things."

"Whatever. You said I was asleep the whole time?"

Jill started to sweat, "Yes."

Now came the hard part. If Jill and Cherche could convince Haar that the two of them were never gushing over him, and that it was just a dream, this may not be the most embarrassing day in their lives. They had to remain stoic, unwavering, convincing, proud-

"Alright. Wake me when I'm needed."

And with that, the Haar returned to his slumber, leaving a flabbergasted duo behind him. The two looked at each other for a few moments, before they started to burst into laughter.

"That was way easier than I thought it would be," Jill said.

Cherche smiled, "Yes... Well. You want to go out to eat? There's a lovely diner down the road."

Jill shrugged her shoulders, "Sure."

The two left to get food, forgeting about a very hungry tiger, who decided that the one eyed man on the couch looked very tasty...

* * *

Sorry about the short chapter. This was more of a filler to get to the next point- flashbacks. Anyways, until next time...

See ya, space cowboy.


End file.
